The Level-20 Architect

Moving from the "Year of Yes" to the Decade of Action

When Katie came home and told me she was pregnant, my life changed immediately.

I’ve already mentioned how the worries of my present-tense became null and void, but it extends far beyond the here and now.

It was time to decide how fatherhood might look on me.

A few weeks later when we learned we were having a boy, I was cracked over the head with yet another amazingly vivid truth – not only was I going to determine which version of me was going to make the impact on our child’s life, but I was going to get to do it for a young man in a very complicated modern America.

And scary though that may be, I can’t begin to describe the excitement I feel in my heart. It’s like I’ve been baptized under the violent crashing waves of golden opportunity.

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I think a lot about what example Niko would be receiving from me if he were here right now. I think about how I speak to others, how I speak to myself, how I express my emotions, how I focus on my health, and how I employ values that are important to me – namely empathy, logic, diplomacy, and literacy.

It’s led me to take an ever-evolving goal and push it even further.

For the last couple of years, I’ve made it my mission to say yes to opportunities whenever they present themselves. Concerts, projects, trips, classes, or even silly little chances to step outside of my comfort zone are all fair game. It’s how I worked Knoxville’s CreepyCon as a vendor selling my book, how I ran a third half-marathon, and how I landed a role in a top-notch indie film.

Now, having said yes to arguably the greatest opportunity of my life, I’m deciding to take it up a notch and begin a phase of Level-20 learning and doing.

Learning goes without saying – I want Niko to look to me as a vast well of knowledge about everything from the verifiable to the abstract; I want to make all the best decisions I can regarding his health and happiness, then employ an adequate rationale to course correct as needed.

But learning is pointless if it’s not followed up with action.

You can read every book in the world and pray to every god known to mortal man but it won’t do you a lick of good without some concrete-pounding, jabroni-beating, brain-busting ACTION.

Niko’s dad is a man who uses every tool at his disposal to improve his situation.

Not a man who sits around waiting for someone to feel sorry for him.

Not a man who consistently identifies as the victim.

Not a man whose only contributions are hopes and prayers.

I’ve been making a conscious effort to attain knowledge and put it into practice. I’m applying it to every aspect of life, from philosophy, gardening, and woodworking to cooking, creativity, self-defense and everything in between.

He’ll see me keep up my standards of love, authenticity, and fitness, but he’ll also see a man who faces life’s challenges with a logical mind driven by a wheel of action that never stops turning.

Photo by Thomas Kinto on Unsplash

Since I’ve been trying to surround myself with examples of this type of behavior, it’s no surprise that my Instagram algorithm has shifted to show me more fatherhood and dad-to-be content. Something I came across recently that really struck me was a simple reel with the following declaration:

My biggest flex is that one day my son will say “Hold on, let me call my dad. He’ll know what to do.”

You don’t get there with lethargy, idleness, and perpetual hopelessness.

You get there by learning, applying what you’ve learned, and refining your processes.

That’s the dad I want to be.

That’s the dad I’m going to be.

-jtf